Time to look back on the Year That Was…and what a fucking year it was! Forget you, 2012. You are rubbish.
I was much too far out all my life / and not waving but drowning.
1. What’s something you did in 2012 that you’d never done before?
I adopted/rehabilitated a dog, which is the most important/best thing I have ever done. I learned the ins and outs of the mental health system. I took a bash at actual journalism. Tabloids took a bash at me. I ombred my hair. I dyed my hair blonde. I dyed my hair purple. I went hiking a lot. I danced onstage at a concert. I learned to make bread! I got back into ballet. I taught a dog how to swim. I was financially responsible. I busted bad guys. I got a little bit famous. I started writing a book (and have made very little progress, sorry about that). I made helloalle.com a thing! I had some very minor surgery. I started commenting places. Mostly I became an adult. It was a very pressure-filled year.
2. Did you keep your new years resolutions, and will you make more?
Last year, I wrote: In 2012, I’d like to at least be ready for a relationship. I will continue working out (five days a week, I CAN DO IT!), I will settle myself in a new place and ready myself for adult life. I will be the best friend, daughter and Auntie Alle that I can. And I will put this year, and everything that’s happened, behind me. I’d also like to learn to play the ukulele which I bought in a fever-induced fugue state on Christmas night.
So how did I do? Well, a couple of times I THOUGHT I might be ready for a relationship-slash-was getting into one whether I really wanted to or not. But I really wasn’t ready, and I absolutely DID NOT want to get into one so everything crashed and burned around my ears. Which was actually okay. I wasn’t there yet.
I had secretly planned to move back to Perth in 2012, but family issues put a stop to that pretty quickly. At some point I realised that adult life was pushing in on me no matter where I lived or what I was doing, so I might as well just accept that & deal with it wherever I am.
I was a good friend, daughter and Auntie Alle. Not to mention all the other things I have to be. Victory on this front. I put 2011 behind me, only to realise that the worst, hardest stuff was actually still in front of me. And I didn’t learn how to play the ukulele because I didn’t have time. Balls. But I do work out five times a week, so yay to that.
In 2013, I’m resolving to fix my romantic relationship style, which could be described as “benign neglect” IF YOU WERE BEING GENEROUS. It turns out that throwing up lots of barriers may prevent you from getting hurt–this is absolutely my M.O.–but it also really hurts the other person, and all they want to do is get to know you. So I will practice being less avoidant and weird, and who knows, maybe it’ll make me happier!
3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
Jen and James had the gorgeous, the fantastic, the handsome, the hilarious King William, aka: Wreck-It Will. He is THE MOST ADORABLE.
4. Did anyone close to you die?
One of my colleagues did. It was very sad.
5. Did anyone close to you get married?
My friend Natalie married her handsome man Peter. Mez got married. And a metric fucktonne of friends got engaged, so 2013 is shaping up to be a very busy wedding year.
6. How many countries did you visit?
Just this one!
7. What would you like to have in 2012 that you lacked in 11?
My own life that doesn’t revolve around totally taking care of other people who CAN but DON’T take care of themselves.
8. Is there a date from 2012 that will remain etched in your memory and why?
February 26th, the day I had my brother committed for the first time. And the March 13th, the day I brought my Oliver home.
9. What was your greatest success?
Helping catch a bad guy. It’s always a good feeling.
10. What was your greatest failure?
Basically everything to do with my family. I am trying so hard, but no matter what I do it’s never enough or the right thing.
11. Did you suffer serious illness or injury?
I had some nerve damage in my left arm, which was weird. But hopefully that’s going to get better now. I also broke a couple of toes, but that’s not exactly something I’m unfamiliar with.
Oliver, on the other hand, has had a VERY ENTERTAINING YEAR in illness or injury. He ate goose shit and made himself sick. He ate a bee, which stung the inside of his mouth. He stopped eating because he is a stubborn jerk. Generally, having a dog is like having a toddler who will never learn to talk.
12. What was your best purchase?
The best money that I spent this year has been on Oliver. Whether it was his adoption fee or vet bills, buying him nine million toys that he destroys within the hour or trying to find a food that he likes, all the dollars have been dollars well spent.
13. Whose behaviour should be celebrated?
Quite a few people reached out to me this year in the DEPTHS OF MY DESPAIR. The usual suspects were my rocks: Michael Davis, Bee, Char, Taters, Jamie, my godmother. But then some people I wasn’t SUPER close with came out of the woodwork to be there for me, and that was amazing too. Like my “big bruv” Stephen, who really lived up to the title this year. And like a totally different Steve–we’ve known each other since we were 16, but now I have seen his butt covered in frozen vegetables, so we’re obviously besties. You can never predict who is going to be there for you and how, but it’s always exactly what you needed.
14. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My brother and my mother. As ever. As always, probably.
15. Where did most of your money go in 2012?
Prescription medication. Jesus Christ is that shit expensive, and it’s not even mine.
16. What did you get most excited about?
I got really excited/terrified about getting a dog. I was also excited about The Hobbit coming out…AND I HAVEN’T EVEN SEEN IT YET. What is wrong with me?
17. What song will always remind you of 2012?
The Motto, by Drake, because YOLO. Also how can we go past the glory that is CALL ME MAYBE?
18. Compared to last year, are you…
Happier or sadder? Sadder. For real, who even knew shit could get this dreadful?
Thinner or fatter? I’m about five pounds thinner, generally, than I was in 2011. But right now I’m heaver because I ate ALL THE EVERYTHING over Christmas and I regret nothing.
Richer or poorer? Eh.
19. What do you wish you’d done more of?
Having fun with my friends. Actually, I would even settle for having NO fun with my friends, as long as I was WITH them.
20. Done less of?
Worrying. Yelling at people. Forcing pills down people’s mouths like you’d do to a badly behaved dog.
21. How will you spend Christmas?
I spent Christmas sick at home, watching Star Trek TNG on the couch and cuddling with Oliver. It was fantastic.
22. How will you spend New Year’s Eve?
Who even knows?
23. Did you fall in love this year?
I love my dog. That’s good enough.
24. Have any one night stands?
I am deleting this question for next year because I have never once answered it honestly. NEXT.
25. Best TV show?
Here’s where you all learn how much I honestly love tv.
Best new show: New Girl.
Best new show about dancing: DANCE ACADEMY (honorable mention: Bunheads).
Best new show that is terrible but has Vanessa Williams in it: 666 Park Avenue.
Best show that needs to COME BACK, ALREADY: Community.
Best everything, ever: Breaking Bad.
Best screaming fit: Mad Men, “Surprise! There’s an airplane here to see you!”
Best show that I watched all of and fell in love: Parks and Rec.
Best shows that are ending and will leave me totally heartbroken: 30 Rock, Fringe.
Best show starring Pacey: Fringe again.
Best show where I have no idea what’s even going on anymore: Pretty Little Liars.
Best hatewatch: Revolution.
Best WTF: Homeland, always and forever.
Best speeches: Friday Night Lights.
26. What was the best movie of 2012?
I saw a lot of movies this year, surprisingly. I really liked Avengers, Cabin in the Woods, Chronicle, Hunger Games, Brave, Magic Mike, Dark Knight Rises (Bane voices galore!) and Frankenweenie. I also saw a movie called Beginners, which was OMG SO GOOD. You absolutely must see it if you haven’t already, and not just because there’s a dog in it.
27. Best book you read?
Everyone freaked out over Gone Girl this year, and I liked it, but I got more out of my first yearly reading of Lord of the Rings. It really helped me through a very tough time.
28. Best music?
Taylor Swift, Red. Shut up.
29. Do you hate anyone that you didn’t hate at this time last year?
The best thing about my life now as opposed to when I was 24 is that I don’t hate anyone. It’s amazing. So freeing! I recommend you all try it.
30. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you?
I turned 28 and did absolutely nothing. Oliver chewed up a pair of socks. That’s about as good as it got.
31. One thing that would have made 2012 more satisfying?
Being an only child.
32. What did you want and get?
A fantastic friend and furry, four-legged companion.
33. What did you want and not get?
It does no good to dwell on this stuff.
34. What was your fashion concept in 2012?
Auntie Mame meets Holly Golightly; eccentric but streamlined.
35. What kept you sane?
Friends and dogs and the fact that Spongebob is always on TV somewhere.
36. What political issue stirred you the most?
The election happened, and as always the buildup was crazy. But Obama won, which I’m happy about. Let’s keep moving forward.
37. Who do you miss?
Everyone, all the time.
38. Who is the best new person you met in 2012?
Everyone? No-one? I can hardly remember any new people this year, though obviously I must have met them.
EDIT: Nicole! The Agentourage! HOW COULD I HAVE FORGOTTEN.
39. Best news story of the year?
40. What’s a valuable life lesson you learned this year?
The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one. Mostly the me.
41. One song lyric that sums up 2012?
From Fiona Apple…
And now I’m hot, too hot and oh
I don’t cry when I’m sad anymore, no no
Tears calcify in my tummy
Fears go inside the bottle
How can I ask anyone to love me
When all I do is beg to be left alone?
And that’s all she wrote. Happy 2013, everyone!