Has it really been a full year since the inagural Palentine’s Day? It seems like the older I get, the more quickly time moves. Like I just turn around, and suddenly everything has changed.
I’m astonished at how much it’s changed for the better recently. But I’ll get to that.
The last twelve months have taught me an awful lot about love. And even though this might sound weird, nobody has taught me more about what it means to love and be loved in return than my dog.
As I’ve mentioned before, Oliver and I didn’t bond at first sight. I was worried that I might not really take to him, or he wouldn’t take to me, when I first brought him home. But within 48 hours, we became a team. And we’ve never looked back.
Oliver can be a grade-A pain in the butt. He challenges me for pack leadership on a regular basis. He demands attention when I’m trying to work. He chewed holes in a McQueen skull scarf that I got for Christmas and hadn’t even worn yet. But he also protects me from ANYTHING that threatens me, even if he’s scared of it himself. He is incapable of seeing me cry–or look sad, or even THINK about looking sad–without capering around like a loon and licking my face to try to cheer me up. And on days that suck, my little Wigglebutt is there to curl up next to me, rest his head on my leg and look at me with his eyebrows raised, like he’s reminding me that it’s okay.
Oliver loves me, even if I yell or cry or am having a bad day. He loves me even if what’s in my head is scary, or too intense, or nigh incomprehensible. He loves me whether I have no time or all the time in the world. He thinks I am totally brave and strong, and that I can protect and lead him through anything. Every day I do my best to live up to that.
My dog makes me want to be a better person.
But I also want to be a better person for other reasons.
Last year, this is what I wrote: “Every day of my life, I set my shoulders and say “Well, maybe I’ll be alone for the rest of my life and that’s okay. Romantic love might not be in my programming.” And then I talk it out and you guys whisper secrets to me and I realise that maybe, just maybe, it won’t be like that.”
And guess what. It isn’t like that anymore. I know that it won’t be.
I don’t want to talk about the specifics of my romantic life, or lack thereof, or WHATEVER, in public. It’s important that I keep some things just for me. But after a really long time of feeling like maybe I couldn’t love people, or that I could but didn’t do it properly, or that was a terrible girlfriend just by nature…well, I know now that’s wrong. I am GREAT at loving people! And sure, I do it in my own way, but that’s true of everybody. There’s no one universal way to love, or be loved in return.
Understanding that has made me a lot happier.
I don’t know that there’s anything better than knowing that I have so many awesome people in my corner. I have friends all around the world who love me. I have family who cares. I have a dog who would take on armies to keep me safe. I’m sure a boyfriend and partner who loves me can’t be far behind.
And I have amazing readers who stick with me and teach me new things every day. It’s impossible to be any luckier than I am.
Happy Valentine’s, Palentine’s and Galentine’s day to us all. xoxoxo