Wind It Up: A bunch of lists about the ONE BIG THING that I love (in the first week of May)

It’s Friday! Instead of doing a Ten Happy Things this week, I’m going to make some lists about the number one best thing in my entire life…Oliver.

Don’t worry, this isn’t going to turn into a dog blog. Hopefully.

Things I call my dog other than his name:

  • Sweet Potato
  • Pupster
  • Wiggle butt
  • Mister Wiggles
  • Boo-boo
  • Handsome boy
  • Mister Handsome
  • Little face
  • Little feet
  • Big ears

Commands Oliver knows and percentage of time he obeys them (approximate):

  • STOP, 100%
  • SIT plus treat, 100%. Minus treat, or minus feigning treat: 50%
  • COME, 80%
  • STAY, 80%. If I am leaving the room, 30%
  • QUIET (non-verbal), 75%. For longer than ten seconds, 30%
  • BREAKFAST/DINNER, 100%
  • BED (non-verbal), 90% at night, 20% if I’m leaving the house during the day (panic ensues)
  • UP (on bed or couch, etc), 100% before 8pm. After 8pm, 0% (must be picked up & carried)
  • OUT, 90%. If raining, 0%
  • HIGH FIVE, 100%

Things I do with Oliver that I swore I’d never do to a pet:

  • Use silly voices to talk to him.
  • Alternately, talk to him like he’s a college professor.
  • Make up songs about him (including one where he’s a pirate).
  • Buy clothes for him (including a raincoat, because he hates getting wet SO MUCH).
  • Kiss him on the face, but not on the mouth because that’s gross.

Things my dog will eat, surprisingly:

  • Plain greek yogurt (prescribed for an upset stomach, now LOVES it).
  • Romaine lettuce.
  • Heartworm medication.
  • Goose shit.
  • Raspberries.
  • Scrambled eggs.
  • Pasta noodles.

Things my dog will not TOUCH, no way no how don’t even think about it:

  • Raw chicken.
  • Raw meat of any kind, actually.
  • Spinach.
  • Anything flavoured with peanut butter.
  • Bacon, or anything bacon-flavoured.

Things I have learned about dogs since having one that nobody ever tells you about:

  • There’s a reason people take their dogs to groomers.
  • Dogs have gross habits and no sense of self-preservation.
  • Squeaky toys get annoying after about three hours.
  • Dogs imitate other dogs. ie: the other day, Oliver tried to Beagle-howl. It was adorably misguided.
  • Training isn’t just for the dog, it’s for the owner too.
  • Training is more than “don’t chew my shoes.” SO MUCH MORE.
  • Dogs don’t just bark. They have a very big vocabulary, even mostly silent pups like Oliver.
  • They can also scream and hiccup. The latter is adorable.
  • No matter what medicine you use, your dog WILL get the occasional tick.
  • Ticks are DISGUSTING.
  • Cats aren’t the only animals that stare at nothing and freak out at it.
  • Cats also aren’t the only ritual-obsessed animals in the domestic kingdom.
  • Dogs would rather make a nest out of the tshirt you wore than sleep on their memory foam bed.
  • You will learn so much patience.
  • You will have sleepless nights.
  • It’s totally awesome.

They also don’t have any concept of personal space.

Oliver is so great. Why I haven’t had a dog all along, I’ll never know.

Happy weekend! Am I the only person who gets really psyched for May? It just feels like summer is right around the corner, you know? It’s the best.

2 thoughts on “Wind It Up: A bunch of lists about the ONE BIG THING that I love (in the first week of May)

  1. Oh LORD he is cute! And I am SO not a dog person… but aww. He’s just adorable. I don’t mind the dog-blogging when it’s about happiness and sweet sweet little pups.

    I used to want to come and visit you; now I want to visit you AND Oliver.

  2. I love my little Betsy… and +1 to the bed thing. I remedied that by using her bed as a pillow for a week, then giving it back to her. Unfortunately, it also means she steals my pillow a lot.

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