Hi everyone! YES, I realise it’s been two weeks since I’ve written anything. YES, I feel bad about it, but also YES I am okay. There’s been an awful lot of Life going on and I’ve been feeling VERY OVERWHELMED but somehow at the same time VERY BORING. All the exciting and cool things going on are things that I can’t talk about, “yet” or “never ever.” Everything else is me collapsed in bed, wearing ugly pants and mainlining episodes of Doctor Who. Not exactly thrilling reading.
But here is what I want to talk to you guys about. Yesterday was Valentine’s day, which is great, because it means that today you can buy really cheap heart-shaped chocolates! I know a lot of people get bummed out about V-day–either because it’s an overcommercialised bullshit extravaganza, or because they’re single and it makes them feel crappy, or maybe because they hate the colour red–so I’ve decided that there should be another holiday. Enter Palentine’s Day.
If you watch Parks and Recreation (and you should, it’s hilarious) you’ll know all about Galentine’s day. The problem is, not all of my nearest and dearest are gals. Hence, Palentine’s day: a celebration of all the amazing friends I have in my life, which includes YOU, o gorgeous and wonderful readers of this blog!
You guys are fantastic. Really truly. Every day of my life, I do or say something that pulls me up short and makes me say “HOW IS IT POSSIBLE that I have ANY friends at all?” I’m a tangled-up ball of barbed wire sometimes and the fact that anyone, let alone MULTIPLE anyones, can stomach smoothing me out (even as I cut up their hands) on a daily basis is nothing short of miraculous.
Every day of my life, I am painfully aware of the vast gap between me and other people. But I come here and I write, and you tell me you know how it feels, and it makes me feel less alone.
Every day of my life, I set my shoulders and say “Well, maybe I’ll be alone for the rest of my life and that’s okay. Romantic love might not be in my programming.” And then I talk it out and you guys whisper secrets to me and I realise that maybe, just maybe, it won’t be like that.
There are jokes when I feel crappy. There are songs when I need to sing. There are cupcakes and hot tea and pictures of cute puppies and new babies and hope and wonderful things.
This is the stuff you guys bring me. This is the stuff that I might not ordinarily see by myself.
For all that, and more, Happy Palentine’s day. Here’s a Palentine I made for my friend Emily. (I did mention I’ve been watching a lot of Doctor Who.)
(She wants it to be David Tennant, whereas I am more partial to Matt Smith. Details, details.)