I made you a mixtape: ROT YOUR TEETH

The other night, I was having a late-night drunk/sober-but-really-stupid Skype date with Helena and we got to talking about best worst music. You know, music that is THE BEST at being THE WORST. If you were a teenager in the late nineties/early 00’s, you know of what I speak because it was what we ate, slept and breathed. It was our language. Other generations had Bob Dylan to speak for them; we had Fred Durst. It’s no wonder everything is so screwy for us now.

Can I blame rap-metal for this? No? Moving on.

We were talking about a very embarrassing song that I had A MIGHTY NEED to listen to on Youtube just that morning, and as we were I felt a slightly horrified tingle run down my back. Because…was it possible that I actually OWNED that song? I checked my iTunes and yes, there it was, staring at me and rolling its tongue ring around in its mouth in what it probably thought was a sexy manner. Oh lord, I thought as I (obviously) began playing it as the soundtrack for our conversation. What ELSE is on here?

The following playlist is What Was On There. CLICK HERE to listen to ROT YOUR TEETH, the best worst music of all time (or at least of my iTunes).


Here’s the tracklist, in case you’re curious, but I highly recommend going into this blind. Increases the awesome factor. But if you have to, look at this and TELL ME THAT THIS IS NOT THE BEST WORST MUSIC OF ALL TIME.

1. Butterfly, Crazy Town
2. Coco Jambo, Mr. President
3. Pretty Fly (for a white guy), The Offspring
4. Barbie Girl, Aqua
5. Whenever, Wherever, Shakira
6. Money (That’s What I Want), The Flying Lizards
7. Land Down Under, Men At Work (I think I hear the sound of my citizenship being revoked?)
8. Get Busy, Sean Paul
9. (Theme From) The Monkees, The Monkees (I STILL love The Monkees! Long hair don’t care!)
10. To The Moon and Back, Savage Garden
11. Not Gonna Get Us, Tatu
12. Oops!…I Did It Again, Britney Spears
13. Rock Your Body, Justin Timberlake
14. Peaches, The Presidents Of The United States Of America
15. Torn, Natalie Imbruglia
16. I Don’t Want To Wait, Paula Cole (is anyone surprised that I have this? Really?)
17. Shimmer, Shawn Mullins
18. Love Story, Taylor Swift (I’m going to see her in March in my hometown and I’m so excited!)
19. I’m Like A Bird, Nelly Furtado
20. Hey Jealousy, Gin Blossoms
21. My Humps, Black Eyed Peas
22. Bootylicious, Destiny’s Child

And that’s all she wrote. It’s my birthday on Sunday, so obviously I’m gearing up to be another step closer to the grave. Hooray! Gallows humour, it’s the best.

13 thoughts on “I made you a mixtape: ROT YOUR TEETH

  1. You are forgetting laffy taffy,

    And this song:

    Mount sims how we do. Nobody has ever heard of it. I was downloading music one day and this was hidden in a deadmau5 song. I was angry at first. But it has to be my favorite best worst song ever!

  2. Justin Timberlake rules. he doesn’t belong there.

    Ok and I am going to admit it. I owned the Crazytown cd. I saw them open for Orgy and liked them… for a whole couple of weeks. 😉

    1. True story: The first boy I ever loved & I used to write love letters to one another, and I believe I actually quoted the part in the song that says “You made me feel alive when I was almost dead.” Which was true, but CRAZY TOWN COME ON.

      This feels weird to write because it’s so personal, but it stays.

  3. I am just going to say this: when I was 13 I went to a concert, with my mother, wearing flannel. There were many musicians present, however, I pushed past Sonic Youth, Patti Smith, Lenny Kravitz and others, running full tilt at the Presidents of the United States of America with arms stretched wide. Then I made them sign everything that I own. ::Ilovebadmusic::

    1. I went to see the Spice Girls reunion tour and when they came onto the stage I burst into tears. I was 22, maybe 23? So I feel you.

  4. Purely because I don’t have time to listen, I read… and, being a child of the nineties I am horrified/thrilled to announce that I do own – and cringe and smile when iTunes shuffle plays them – a fair amount of that list. Fuckin’ ace.

  5. Oh God I missed these songs. I didn’t even remember them, but right here come all the memories back.. good ones, bad ones, OLD ones.

    A fact about globalization: I’m not from an english-speaking country, and isn’t it amazing that apprently we were listening to the same music when we were young? (And I just now realized that you must be about my age. Wohw.)

    Enjoy your birthday tomorrow! Wishing you good health and much luck. Keep on rockin’.. 🙂

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