The Year in Review: 2010

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, children of all ages. Welcome to the Alle Malice Year In Review! I don’t feel well enough to write a longer introduction because I’ve had the flu for the last month (my current antibiotics are also used to treat the early stages of anthrax) so please excuse me and enjoy 2010 in a nutshell.

1. What’s something you did in 2010 that you’d never done before? Well, let’s see…I was paid for writing words. I went to New York. I took risks for feelings. I planned a wedding from start to finish in six weeks. I felt secure in friendships here in America in a way that I haven’t ever been able to before. I dated. I swore off dating. I went on Zoloft. I went off Zoloft. I took off the signet ring I’ve worn nonstop since I was eight years old. I started dressing less like a teenage boy and more like a sexy lady. I started working out. I started filing my nails into a different shape and wearing my hair wavy–both are a bigger deal than you think, BTW.

Did you keep your new years resolutions, and will you make more? My resolutions for 2010 were:
– Be a good friend to the people in my life.
– Be open and receptive to love in all its forms.
– Make good decisions.
– Be a Lady in all aspects of my life.
– Be healthy, be happy; cultivate stillness and calm.

I think I incorporated those into my life pretty well, to be honest. In 2011 I think I should a little more mindful of the love one–love tends to be something that has to drag me kicking and screaming from one place to another, so I think this year I will be a little more relaxed about it.

I also hereby resolve to be less rigid and take more risks. I will take things as they come in 2011 rather than needing a plan at all times and freaking out if I don’t have one. This is going to be very hard, because it goes against everything that I am. Which brings me to the following posters:

I found them HERE and I really want them for my bedroom wall. Okay, wallS. And above my desk. And probably saved on my phone. And in my purse. And on my laptop. Basically I need multiple copies for multiple reminding power, because this is not going to be easy for me.

3. Did anyone close to you give birth? Everyone was having BABIES BABIES BABIES in 2010! Victoria and Matthew had Sable, Bridget and Steve had Keegan, Dannette and Charles had Kaelie. Okay so maybe that’s just three, but it feels like a million because it’s…I don’t know, a sign of things to come? Very strange to watch the people around you grow up and start doing adult things like have kids.

4. Did anyone close to you die? Two people. I’m okay with it now. One of them set into motion the craziest, unfunniest series of events ever. It makes me sweaty just thinking about it.

5. Did anyone close to you get married? Again, it feels like a million people have gotten married but it’s probably not that many. Kelsey and Derek…and I guess that’s it for people close to me. Extraneously, there were a lot more; a lot of people I went to high school with in Australia got married this year. I think it’s me and two other girls from my class who aren’t married, partnered up or with a baby. And I don’t know if I’m on the right path, but I know I’m on my own path. That makes me happy.

6. How many countries did you visit? Ugh, just the one. But I went to many different parts of the USA, parts I have never been to before. Like Ohio! TWICE! And Kentucky, which is kind of just across a bridge! Which was weird! And I found my spiritual home, New York City! More exclamation points!

7. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 10? Here is where I make my yearly plea for STABILITY, PLEASE.

8. Is there a date from 2010 that will remain etched in your memory and why? September 25th, 2010: the day that I met PATRICK STEWART.

Also: The day of the summertime rooftop party. The day the term “sedate rape” was coined. The day Char & I saw Smashing Pumpkins. The day I saw Passion Pit with Isaiah and we danced around singing about being the best damn friends that we’ve ever had. The day I got my all-clear. The day my Mum said “firey asshole” out loud.

There are days I remember for being bad too, but those don’t bear thinking about and they certainly don’t deserve to be written about.

9. What was your greatest success? Taking the one thing that I’ve always loved, the one thing that people have always told me I’d never be able to make money off of, and make motherfucking MONEY OFF IT. Writing, this was your year. Hats off to my crazy head and ability to use a semicolon correctly (or at least creatively).

10. What was your greatest failure? Not admitting that I needed help until the need was very, very dire. Depression is em-effing serious business.

11. Did you suffer serious illness or injury? This year we had some assorted cancer fuckery, a broken leg, a kidney infection and several bouts of flu. I also fell in the street and messed up my knee & foot and suffered a couple yoga injuries, but the latter are totally worth it.

12. What was your best purchase? For everyday wear, I can’t go past my Frye boots. But for special occasions, it’s my neon pink leopard print heels! IS TOO SEXY! Observe:

God. So good. And not all that uncomfortable! Expect to see a lot more of these in the new year.

13. Whose behaviour should be celebrated? This year, I’m singling out Charlotte–who has probably been singled out enough in this blog to last a lifetime, but she will just have to deal with it–and here is just one of a million reasons why. One night, I was having a bad time. A really bad time. A hysterical crying mess bad time. She came over with a plate of cheese, two bottles of wine and 500 Days of Summer, listened to me sob, then drugged me and put me to bed. I woke up fifteen hours later totally healed and hardly hungover, and that would not have been possible were it not for her. So much of my life wouldn’t be possible without her. I love you, Char.

I also need to single out my incredibly dear friend Jenny Bee and her husband, James. They have dedicated so much time to the care and feeding of Alle’s heart, mind and body (care packages full of Tim Tams!) that it’s absolutely ridiculous. Whether it’s James telling me not to date because nobody is good enough for me or Bee peeking inside the deepest part of my heart and finding out my most closely-guarded secret, these two have been my cheerleaders, my sparring partners and my advisors. They’re totes stern individuals and I count myself lucky to know them.

14. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed? This year I learned that male-female friendships only last about as long as it takes for the dude to start getting his dick sucked on the regular. Then it’s bye bye, baby. It’s a little disheartening, but you know. Onward and upward.

15. Where did most of your money go in 2010? I spent a lot of money traveling places this year. So exciting!

16. What did you get most excited about? I was pretty excited to get the all-clear from cancer. I was excited to go to New York. I was excited to get in touch with some people I’d missed terribly. I was REALLY excited the day I met Patrick Stewart (as I think I may have mentioned).

17. What song will always remind you of 2010? Oh hell, time for a PLAYLIST!

Tik tok (Kesha)
Icecream truck (Cazwell)
Mine (Taylor Swift)
Soldier on (The Temper Trap)
Soccer practice (Jonny McGovern)
Teenage dream (Katy Perry)
Crown on the ground (Sleigh Bells)
Hang with me (Robyn)
If I ever feel better (Phoenix)
Sleepyhead (Passion Pit)
Little faith (The National)
Papa was a rodeo (The Magnetic Fields)
Crystalised (The xx)
Prescilla (Bat for Lashes)

18. Compared to last year, are you…
happier or sadder? Happier.
thinner or fatter? Thinner, and for once I have the numbers to back me up!
richer or poorer? Slightly richer.

19. What do you wish you’d done more of? This year I continued being young and fun and really enjoying my life. Yay! I also said I wanted to do more of the following: cooking (yes), having people over (yes), living in the here and now as opposed to ALLE’S DREAMLAND (yes…okay, not really).

20. Done less of? Drinking. I am going to drink 75% less in 2011.

21. How will you spend Christmas? Christmas was spent at my Godmother’s house where we all got drunk and ate lots of food. I was wildly inappropriate but was not the only one; we ended the night with a mass sing-a-long of the theme to Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. So, you know, we celebrated in the restrained manner befitting the birth of the baby Jesus.

22. How will you spend New Year’s Eve? I fell asleep at like 11pm thanks to my hardcore regimen of antibiotics and cough medicine. THANKS, FLU!

23. Did you fall in love this year? No, but I fell out of it pretty hard.

24. Have any one night stands? I don’t really think any of the sex I had counts as one night stands.

25. Best TV show? I watched a lot of TV this year, apparently. LOST, I cried at the last episode. 30 Rock, Pretty Little Liars (don’t judge me), Dexter, Mad Men, Boardwalk Empire, True Blood, Adventure Time and Sherlock. Oh, and mothereffin’ FORENSIC FILES.

26. What was the best movie of 2010? I really loved Black Swan. It just snuck in there but man, totally fantastic. Also loved Easy A & Jennifer’s Body.

27. Best book you read?
“Never let me go,” by Kazuo Ishiguro. God, it’s just so, so good.

28. Best music? “Speak Now” by Taylor Swift. “xx” by The xx (not released in 2010 but this is when I heard it, so nerts to you). “The Suburbs” by The Arcade Fire. “This is Happening” by LCD Soundsystem. But I really think the song of the year is Teenage Dream by Katy Perry.

29. Do you hate anyone that you didn’t hate at this time last year? Nope.

30. What did you do on your birthday and how old were you? I was 26, and I didn’t do much. I opened some presents, I saw my shrink (how’s that for glamour) and went to dinner with my family. Dinner was kind of fantastic, though.

31. One thing that would have made 2010 more satisfying? Less moving. Less depression.

32. What did you want and get? My health. It’s the biggest and bestest thing I could possibly have, so everything else kind of falls by the wayside.

33. What did you want and not get? Unsuitable boy. But note how that is SINGULAR this year. Little by little, I am making progress.

34. What was your fashion concept in 2010? Summer saw me bust out my legs in short shorts and combat boots. I decided that since my body isn’t hideously deformed, why not show it off a little? Winter’s fashion concept has been a little Luna Lovegood, a little Claudia Kishi and a little Wicked Witch of the West. I aim to go full-on Auntie Mame eccentric this year, so bring on the turbans and the kimonos and the furs! I’m ready!

35. What kept you sane?
Having three people to tell when things were terribly bad and when they were terribly good. Thankyou.

36. What political issue stirred you the most? The pending repeal of DADT. And guess what? It’s repealed! HOORAY!

37. Who do you miss? Everyone in Australia, all the time. My chronic homesickness was especially bad this year, thanks to the combined efforts of like six people who are hellbent on getting me home. Thanks guys! (But seriously, I do love you all)

38. Who is the best new person you met in 2010? Let’s talk Helena, and how she’s my gorgeous globetrotting hiveminded redheaded braintwin. She’s so totally amazing and my life is better with her in it.

39. Best news story of the year? I feel like there was a lot going on this year that was awesome and scary and funny and sweet, but for some reason all I can think of right now is the dude in Kentucky whose friend cut off his beard and forced him to eat it. What in the WHAT THE.

40. What’s a valuable life lesson you learned this year? Never take your health for granted. Not making a choice is still making a choice. People actually DO love you, so it’s okay to trust them.

41. One song lyric that sums up 2010? Okay, so I know this song is from like five years ago, but it works, so deal with it. Amy Winehouse, Tears dry on their own:

He walks away,
The sun goes down.
He takes the day, but I’m grown.
And in your wake, in this blue shade,
My tears dry on their own.

And that’s that! Coming up later this week: birthday madness, more medical fuckery and OUTFITS OUTFITS OUTFITS.

Loves you!


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