If you are wondering how many times I can say “OKAY I AM BACK TO BLOGGING AND THIS TIME I MEAN IT!” and then vanish for weeks at a time, well, hopefully this will be it. As per usual, a lot has been going on, but for once it has all been awesome. Repeat: AWESOME THINGS HAVE BEEN HAPPENING IN MY LIFE. Here’s a list of Shit What Has Ruled, with pictures where applicable.
1. Friends, Romans, countrymen. I’ve cut down on my partying significantly during the last month, partly because I was getting sick of being known solely as a party girl and partly because I was bored with it. But last Sunday, Char and I went to Exit for (what else?) Honky Tanked and had a fantastic time. Along with Sara and Juice, we turned the upstairs of the bar into a high octane dance party. And when we got tired of our usual spins and dips, we began inventing really awesome dance moves like “Sexy Jellyfish,” “Coked-Up Mom At A Wedding” and “Bend and T-Rex.” I was having so much fun that I forgot to take pictures, but basically it looked like this:
We were the sexy grandmas, and we were getting considerably more weird looks than these fine ladeez. The night ended only after taking a polar plunge, seeing world’s shortest man get dropped on his head and getting six or seven sexy lapdances. We went to get 4am pizza and made new friends even at the pizza joint, because we are A-list like that. Love forever.
2. “Good news, everyone!” (This probs should have been number one since it’s by far the most significant, but whatever, it is where it is.) As of last week, I am officially cancer-free. YAY! This means no drug treatment and no more surgeries. Plus I now don’t have to see my doctor until May, and as much as I like all of the medical professionals who have been fiddling under my hood lately, I am really over this several times a month visiting schedule.
As for how I feel about it, I’m relieved but I can’t really say that I’m happy. I don’t feel the presence of something good in this instance exactly, but I DO feel the absence of something bad. That’s about as close to joy as I can get about this, I think, and I’ll take it.
3. Do-over. I’ve recently returned to my natural state of living–alone–and as with the cancer all that I can say about it is that I now feel the absence of something bad. Obviously drunk on the freedom of being able to eschew pants all day every day, I made the dubious decision to TOTALLY REDECORATE. Which is predictably turning into a nightmare. Although I have a very clear idea of what I want, actually finding the furniture that exists in my head at a decent price and trying to get it shipped to my place is A LOGISTICAL NIGHTMARE. GAH.
Anyway, let’s talk interior design. For the living room I’m going for a white couch and armchair (BAD IDEA/GOOD IDEA???), black furniture, a black and white striped rug and really bright cushions. I think that’s going to look great with my golden-brown walls. The guest room is painted green and will have white and silver desks along one wall (separate for drawing and writing) with a bright pink sleeper couch. Maybe I’ll put a TV in there too, but then again I might not.
4. No TV and no beer make Homer something something. First of all, let me just say OMG, LOST LOST LOST, OMG. HOW GOOD is this last season shaping up to be? EXACTLY. But you know what, LOST may have been deposed in my affections. Because do you know what else has been on?
RUPAUL’S DRAG RACE, also known as THE GREATEST SHOW ON EARTH. RuPaul has always, always been a hero of mine–I still hope that I grow up to be as beautiful as she is someday, with a wardrobe full of sparkly dresses and soft lighting. Season two is running right now and while there are some amazing Queens this season, nobody comes close to matching the amazingness of season 1 contestant Nina Flowers.
I know it’s not 2005 anymore, but girlfriend is FIERCE. Erika and I are in agreement that she’s our favourite of all time ever, thanks to her sweet personality and AMAZING hair, makeup and costumes. Also she needs to be our new BFF–get at us, girl. The fact that she didn’t win is the very definition of a travesty.
I’ve often said that I’ve learned a lot about makeup from drag queens (like applying eyelashes with tweezers!) but after binging on both seasons of RPDR, I’ve learned a more substantial lesson. No matter what these ladies looks like, they OWN it. Tall, tiny, muscular, fat, whatever–they LOVE their bodies and they SHOW THEM OFF from now until next week. This is Shannel from season one, wearing an assless pleather leotard and a feather wig while juggling. Totes not making this up.
I would rather be beaten to death with my own arms and legs than wear an outfit like that, even as a costume, because all I’d be able to think about was how terrible I think my body looks. But you know what? Shannel didn’t let the fact that she’s not perfect stop her from having her ass out. While I won’t go that far, it’s a fine example of self-love and I’m going to try way harder to love my body the way it is. Because I’m a babe! And I don’t even have to tuck a wiener! RAH RAH OOH LA LA!
5. Sexual Chocolate. Three hours in a salon, and babies, my hair is no longer black. Behold!
It’s a mahogany brown which looks red when the sunlight hits it. I’m suuuuuuper super happy with this first baby step. Next appointment is in a few weeks, and I’m going to have it made a couple shades lighter again. Then I’ll stop. I don’t want to get a chemical haircut, after all. (Also pictured: Mum’s coat, which I like to wear around the house like the crazy old lady I am inside.)
6. The food of Love. It’s not a secret that I like my music the way I like my cereal: sugary sweet and with no nutritional value whatsoever. While I like “good” music as much as the next tragic hipster, pop music is FAR AND AWAY my music of choice–there’s a reason “Spiceworld” has been played 37 times while “Veckatimest” clocks in with 2. In 2010 I’ve decided to try and even this up a little–get the good to bad music ratio down to 1:1. So YES, I may have downloaded Taylor Swift but I’ve also downloaded The xx. And it MAY have required an awful lot of effort to pause T. Swift’s teenage wistfulness and listen to xx, but oh my god, I am so glad that I did. This might be one of the best new albums I’ve heard. Big hearts.
7. Feelings. I have them. Nobody is happier about this than Mama Malice, probably because this disproves her hypothesis that her real daughter was switched at birth with a robot.
. . .
So that’s life. So far 2010 is an AMAZING year, and I know that it’s only going to get better.